


Peculiarities

by aquaartistcat



Category: Bill & Ted (Movies)
Genre: Closeted Character, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Period-Typical Homophobia, Self-Discovery, f slur used, in this house we hate captain logan, post excellent adventure?? sorta, q word used, ted cant cook!, they aint dating the princesses, we appreciate deacon here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-05-16 06:41:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19312717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquaartistcat/pseuds/aquaartistcat
Summary: "You can tell me anything, dude." Bill leaned forward across the stained picnic table, looking him in the eyes intently.There wasn't much use in trying to hide this kind of stuff from Bill. "It's my dad. He said some truly heinous things this morning, and for some reason they're stuck in my brain.""Heinous? Well perhaps telling me what they were might help.""Well," he said, considering his phrasing, "Maybe heinous isn't the correct word. More like peculiar."Bill raised an eyebrow. "Peculiar?""Peculiar." Ted affirmed.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ted's morning is quite bogus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Q-word used in this chapter as a slur.
> 
> Hey y'all, I'm here with a multichapter fanfic because I'm too apprehensive to post it in one big long chapter and probably never post it at all because I would forget about that one big long chapter.
> 
> Anyway! I love Bill and Ted now (watched it on 6/9, completely by accident) so I am gonna write some gay stuff now. because that's my 1 motivation to write. :)
> 
> I hope you like it! (also this may be ooc idk,)

Ted Logan was having a most untriumphant day indeed. What started as a typical Friday quickly devolved into a series of non-non-non-excellent events. Ted had woken up early, a bit before six, just like every other morning. He liked to be up before the sun so he could watch it rise through the kitchen window. It was quite spectacular that particular morning, with pink clouds and golden rays shining through the branches of the trees in the backyard of the Logan residence.

He poured a bowl of sugary cereal and ate it happily, soon joined by Deacon, who settled with toast. He said that Ted would get cavities if he kept up his morningly diet. Ted wondered what would be so bad about that.

"They'll just give me those shiny metal teeth, which, might I add, are most righteous." Ted reasoned, holding up his spoon.

Deacon shook his head, taking bites out of his buttered toast. "Did Bill tell you that?"

Ted's routine continued on as usual: getting changed into a Van Halen shirt that Bill gave him for his birthday, packing up his backpack with as many textbooks as he could fit (he carried the rest), and lacing up his worn sneakers. It was when Ted was about to head out of the door that the day diverged from his typical routine.

"Son," Ted turned around, hand on the doorknob, to see his father standing at the entrance to the hallway. Captain Logan was never up this early. He normally would wait until his children were gone, and then get ready in the peace and comfort of an empty house.

Ted frowned, letting go of the knob and facing his dad. Deacon peeked out from the end of the hallway. They were both curious as to why their father was up so early. "Yeah, dad?" He said.

"I'm going to be out late tonight. One of the officers is being transferred to L.A., so I need to attend the going away ceremony. You need to look after Deacon tonight." Captain Logan explained bluntly, bags under his eyes and little emotion displayed on his face.

"Okay," Ted said, shrugging and beginning out the door. He would just invite Bill over, and they could jam out to some records in his bedroom while Deacon did whatever Deacon did.

Ted felt a stiff hand on his shoulder and turned his head around once again. His father was standing just behind him. Despite being around the same height, Captain Logan's authoritative figure seemed to tower over Ted. "And no Bill."

This time, Ted's whole body turned too. "What? That's utter bogus!" Why wouldn't Bill be allowed over? Bill was the coolest, most non-heinous person on the planet. And if it was only Ted and Deacon home, why would his presence be a bother?

"Son, listen to me. Your need to take responsibility and watch over your brother. I don't want him winding up like you, eating all the crap you eat, flunking school, listening to that racket." Wow, Ted's dad sounded like an old dude. Ted reasoned that he was an old dude.

"But dad, Bill and I have been waiting all week for tonight! We just bought this new record-"

"And another thing," Captain Logan began. "I don't want Deacon hanging around Bill either. He's a bad influence. I mean, look how you are now. Lord knows I didn't make you like this." That last word was more like a sneer. Ted frowned. He was used to his father insulting him from time to time (okay, maybe more like from day to day), but it was rare that he'd talk about Bill like that so directly.

"What do you mean, a bad influence?" Ted asked. Bill's influence, to Ted, was quite bodacious.

Captain Logan sighed, rubbing his temples and shaking his head. "I know that you and Bill are friends, but you have to at least realize how… Peculiar he acts."

Ted furrowed his brow. Bill was peculiar, sure, but peculiar in a good way. He had a peculiar sense of fashion, one that Ted thought was righteous, and a peculiar taste in music, one that he and Ted shared. What was bad about that?

Captain Logan noticed the puzzled look on his son's face. "Ted, he isn't normal. You may think he is, but that's not how the rest of the world sees it. He's different, he's-" His voice got all quiet. "He's queer." Ted didn't expect anyone to say something like that about Bill. "I don't want you thinking that people like him are what the world wants." Ted could sense the bogusness of his father's words. He'd always do this- Insult Ted, or in this case, Bill, and say that it's for his own good. Complete bogus.

Ted whipped around, swung the door open, and then slammed it shut, right in his dad's face. Then, he ran all the way down the driveway and over to the bus stop up the street. He didn't turn around. He could wait until after school for his father's yelling lectures and threats of military school. For now, Ted needed to get to school and see Bill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :))
> 
> My Bill and Ted blog on tumblr is ted-and-bill, if you wanna check out any art or reblogs or whatever
> 
> i hope you liked it!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ted and Bill have the most enlightened of discussions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for the f-slur and q-slur in this one.
> 
> Hellooo. I hope you're liking the story so far! Here's another chapter.

It was the middle of history class, and Ted was out of it. He had been thinking about his father's little speech all morning. He was currently sitting in the second-to-last row of desks in the corner, a perfect place to escape the lesson he wouldn't have paid attention to and space out.

"Hey, Ted," Bill poked at the back of his friend's head with the eraser on his pencil. His friend sat right behind him, an optimal position for inconspicuous conversations while Mr. Ryan was rambling about some king who thought he could talk to God. "Dude. Earth to Ted?"

Ted shooed the pencil away from his mop of long dark hair, trying not to draw attention to himself as his teacher ranted. "What is it, man?" He whispered, not turning around.

He heard the squeak of Bill's chair as the boy leaned forward, closer to Ted's left shoulder. "You've been acting most space all day. What's up with you?" His friend asked, concern laced in his voice. But not too much. The two didn't talk earnestly about their emotions often.

Ted shrugged. "My dad was being quite unusual this morning." He explained. Oh, and: "He said that you can't come over tonight."

"What a dickweed!" Bill hissed, loud enough for some babes a few seats over to snap their attention to the boys. Ted heard the tell-tale thump of Bill's back against the seat as his friend slumped backward. "Why?" He asked in a hushed voice.

Ted didn't feel like detailing the conversation. "Said I needed to take care of Deacon tonight, or whatever."

"Well why can't I just hang out there while you do?" Bill had the same thought process as Ted.

"He said that he didn't want Deacon hanging around you, which is totally idiotic. I think, if anything, he should hang around you more often." Ted said, still attempting to be vague.

"Completely true, my dear friend." Bill agreed. "Well, that isn't going to stop me from coming over anyway."

That remark made Ted smile a bit. Bill wasn't going to let anything stop him from hanging out with his best friend, especially not some shallow disapproval by Captain Logan.

The morning turned into noon, and the argument was still on Ted's mind. He didn't know why. These things happened occasionally, and Ted was never too hurt or distraught by it. But this time, he couldn't get his dad's words out of his head.

Queer.

That word stung the most, despite it not being aimed at Ted. It was a word that he heard all the time. If something was stupid, it was that. If someone was acting strange, they were that. It was just a word. But for some reason, that usage was different.

Captain Logan didn't mean peculiar. He didn't mean not normal, or stupid, or strange. He meant queer.

This thought process was still running through Ted's head by lunch, and it was most non-excellent.

"Hey, Ted, you're acting spacey again." Bill said through a mouthful of sandwich. They sat at a table in the corner of the courtyard, far away from all of the other students.

"Hm?" Ted looked up from the piece of pizza he had been staring at. "I'm just thinking, dude."

Bill shook his head, finishing the last of his lunch. He could eat really fast, with his record being a full-sized bag of skittles in less than ten seconds. "Ted, my dear friend, it's very rare that you think at all. Something's up."

Ted chuckled a bit at his friend's joke. "Nah, dude. I'm fine." He lied, quite unconvincingly.

"You are the most untalented of liars. You can tell me anything, dude." Bill leaned forward across the stained picnic table, looking him in the eyes intently.

There wasn't much use in trying to hide this kind of stuff from Bill. "It's my dad. He said some truly heinous things this morning, and for some reason they're stuck in my brain."

"Heinous? Well perhaps telling me what they were might help."

"Well," he said, considering his phrasing, "Maybe heinous isn't the correct word. More like peculiar."

Bill raised an eyebrow. "Peculiar?"

"Peculiar." Ted affirmed.

It seemed that Bill didn't understand the nature of the situation. "If he said anything about you, I swear, I'll beat him up. I don't care that he's a cop, he deserves it."

"Bill, dude, he said the stuff about you, not me."

Bill's shoulders slumped, and his bout of anger was over. "Oh. Well, that's not as bad." Ted frowned at his friend's immediate acceptance of being bad-mouthed. "Why is it 'stuck in your brain', then?"

"His wording was most unusual." Ted explained, still not wanting to tell Bill the exact words his father used. He didn't know how his friend would react. "It was a word that I usually think of as meaning one thing, but I'm starting to wonder what my dad meant by it."

The blonde boy balanced his chin on his fist, trying to figure Ted out. "Yeah? What word?"

Ted ran his fingers through his hair apprehensively. Maybe it would be better off if he didn't tell Bill about all of the specificities. After all, it was just a word. Just a weird word that made Ted feel weird feelings.

"Ted?" Bill prompted, clearly curious.

"He called you queer." Ted said, finally.

"Oh." Bill's curious expression morphed into one of analysis and contemplation.

Ted looked down, not wanting to see any more of Bill's reaction. It'd probably be bad. And when Bill felt bad, Ted felt bad.

Bill squinted his eyes. "Like, weird-queer?" He asked.

Oh Bill. Poor, unsuspecting Bill. "I don't think so." Ted answered. He didn't want to say what he thought the word could mean.

"So…" Bill paused to think. "You mean he meant like, fag-queer?" Unlike Captain Logan, Bill didn't lower his voice at the word. It wasn't a curse to him.

Ted nodded solemnly. "I'm pretty sure, dude."

They both leaned back a bit in the picnic table seats. Telling Bill probably wasn't that good of an idea. He was Ted's best friend, and didn't need to know about all of the bogus stuff that his dad talked about. But if Ted didn't tell him, wouldn't that sort of be like lying?

"Well, I dunno what's so bad about that, man. Screw him. He's just a dickweed." This response was jarring to Ted. He never thought that Bill wouldn't care at all.

"Wait, so you're not pissed?"

Bill seemed a bit surprised at that question. "What, you want me to be?"

Ted shook his head, dark hair flying around messily. "No, I just thought that you might be upset. That's why I didn't want to tell you."

He shrugged. "I guess I've just been thinking… Fa…" He cut himself off, considering a different term. "Uh, gay people and all that aren't really bad? Y'know? There are some babes who dig babes, which is totally logical, because babes are great. And there are some dudes who dig dudes, which isn't really a problem. Just leaves more babes for you and I, my friend, which is most triumphant!" There was a hint of a falter in the smile he flashed.

"Huh. I guess you're right, Bill." Ted said, relaxing a bit. His friend could always do that: turn something seemingly heinous and make it non-heinous. He appreciated that. "Still, I'm not sure if you should come over tonight. I have a feeling that my dad would be most upset if he learned that you visited."

Bill hummed in response. Not the most clear or direct answer, but Ted accepted it. The bell signifying the end of lunch rang, and Ted attempted to eat the rest of his pizza in one bite (not a good idea) while he and Bill returned back to their study hall, both counting down the minutes before school was out for the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> I'm hoping on having the next chapter written soon.
> 
> Have a nice day/night/morning/evening!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ted's cooking skills need a lot of work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a more casual chapter before the next one, so, yep.
> 
> Featuring Deacon because he is cool.

“Deacon,” Ted called up the stairs. “What do you want for dinner?” It was around 6:30 p.m. already, and Ted had become most hungry. That pizza slice had only held him over for six hours. Now, it was time to prepare whatever weird pasta or freezer-burned meat was left in the house. Captain Logan wasn’t too considerate when he went shopping.

“I dunno, spaghetti?” Deacon replied. Well, spaghetti was easy enough. Just water and noodles.

Ted began to gather the necessary components involved in spaghetti-making. A pot, measuring cup, strainer, wooden spoon, and the dry pasta. Making something this simple was a relief, as Ted was not quite skilled in terms of cooking. When he said not quite skilled, he meant every meal he made turned into a disaster. He and Bill tried baking cookies once, which ended in literal flames. Luckily, though, Deacon was there with a fire extinguisher to save them.

After about fifteen minutes, the cooking had devolved as expected, with dry noodles fallen on the stove and floor, and water boiling over the rim of the pot, sizzling and bubbling on the hot surface. It was a heinous sight indeed.

“Bogus,” Ted sighed, turning off the stove. Home-made dinner was a lost cause now. He cleaned up the mess best he could, wiping up the water, attempting to sweep the pasta off the ground, and dumping all of the dishes in the sink. Maybe he could somehow convince Deacon to wash it all.

There was a squeaking sound, then some footsteps, and soon, Deacon was standing at the entrance if the kitchen, scanning the sorry sight. "I'm guessing the spaghetti didn't turn out so great?" He asked, taking a seat next to his older brother.

"Nope. In fact, it turned out most heinously." Ted slumped over, letting his curtain of dark hair fall over his face and his forehead hit the wooden table with a light thud.

"So?"

Ted sighed. "We could order pizza?"

"Dad didn't leave us any money." Deacon pointed out, sounding just as defeated as his brother looked.

"Hmm…" There was a pause as Ted contemplated the various alternatives to burning the house down in an attempt to make chicken nuggets. It was then that the house phone rang.

Ted rushed over to get it, beating his younger brother by only a few strides. Usually they'd race to the phone to see who was faster, even if it was just a church or some charity calling. More times than not, though, it was Bill. This was one of those many times.

Ted snatched the phone, bringing it up to his ear. "Hello?"

"Hey dude!" Bill's joyful voice greeted from the other end of the line.

Ted grinned upon hearing his friend's voice. "What's up, dude?"

"Nothing much. Just massively sulking because I can't come over. Can I come over?" It was clear that Bill had been trying to restrain himself from calling earlier. Seemingly, Bill didn't have much patience.

"Sorry, but my dad would be most enraged if he were to find out that you had. Plus, I need to figure out a plan for dinner. My cooking skills have failed me once again, my dear friend."

"Dinner?" Bill asked. "I have an idea! Missy made a huge casserole last night that we still have leftovers from. I could come over and bring you some of that!" He paused, and shifted his tone to one much more serious. "Totally for the purposes of dinner. Sustenance and nutrition only."

Ted thought for a moment. Bill would only be over for a bit, and if his dad came home early, they had a good excuse for him being there. "That sounds most delicious and convenient."

"Excellent!" Ted could practically sense the air guitar his friend was most certainly performing at the moment. "I'll be there in fifteen!" There was a click as Bill hung up on the other end.

Sure enough, fifteen minutes later, Bill was kicking off his shoes as he closed the front door behind him, balancing a plastic container full of cold casserole on one hand over his head.

Ted ushered him in, desperate for some food. They microwaved the food together, with a brief interruption by Deacon to remove the silverware before they caused any more havoc, and Bill put the now satisfyingly hot casserole onto three separate plates. One for each of them.

"Gentlemen," Bill announced, setting the dishes down, "Your most delicious dinner is served." He did a little bow, getting a reserved laugh from Deacon.

"Thanks dude," Ted said, digging into the casserole. "And tell Missy that her cooking is most bodacious!"

Deacon nodded along, enjoying the food just as much as his brother. "Yeah. I'm glad that dad let you come over, or else I'd be starving to death by now."

Ted lowered his fork, remembering his father's orders from that morning. "Uh… Well…" He sputtered. He couldn't have Deacon telling his dad about Bill's visit. He'd murder Ted! And then Bill. And maybe murder Ted again just for good measure.

Deacon shook his head, sighing. "Lemme guess. Dad never gave the ok." The two glanced at each other nervously. "Are you serious? You two just put your heads on the chopping block! What if he comes home early? Ted, you really think I'm gonna cover for you?"

Sometimes, Deacon could be scarier than Ted's dad. Sure, he was a kid, but he had reason on his side. Reason that Captain Logan tended to lack. Ted shrugged. "Deac, it's not a big deal, alright? Just don't tell him and he'll never know! It's amazingly simple if you don't overthink it."

"Well you won't see me doing you any favors if you get caught." He said, rolling his eyes. He was getting into his teenage years. All moody and stuff. Ted figured Deacon's cynicism would be making up for the absence of his own.

Bill and Ted both shrugged as the boy cleaned his plate and retreated into his bedroom.

"So," Ted started after the growling of his stomach had been successfully silenced, "Does that mean you're going to be heading home now?"

Bill pouted, trying to look deep in thought. "Well, Ted my friend. I could leave now, and begin my long journey back to my own house, but what a waste that would be! I've come all this way just to stay for twenty minutes? And, as you and I both well know, after a hearty meal one needs time to rest, as to not disturb the digestion process."

Ted grinned, catching Bill's drift. He couldn't even tell if his friend was making up stuff at that point, but he didn't care either way.

"Or," Bill continued, "I could stay here for a while and let my stomach settle." His thoughtful expression was quickly replaced by a mischievous one. "I trust that you'll grant me asylum in your home, Ted?"

Ted nodded, and began racing up the stairs to his bedroom (notably, a room that contained the newest edition of X-Men) before Bill could. "Of course, Bill! What kind of a friend would I be if I turned you away?"

Bill managed to push past him, hopping up that last few steps and swinging the door open. "After you?" It was clear that his friend wouldn't be leaving any time soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter! I'm planning on another 2 or 3 chapters before the end.
> 
> Feedback or just any comments in general are highly appreciated!
> 
> Thank you for reading, and have an excellent morning/day/afternoon/evening/night!


End file.
